Jun 16, 2020
Rob and Tami answer some common listener questions from both partners who have been betrayed and addicts who want to repair their relationship with their spouses. Rob answers questions like: How do you trust someone who has betrayed you? How can you best balance work/life and therapy? And answers the question if you can change your sexual arousal template.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:35] How do you trust an addict in recovery?
[2:30] Why do you need to go to counseling when your partner was the one that betrayed you?
[4:10] Is it possible to reconcile with your partner after a huge 20+ year betrayal? Even when you feel like they were never attracted to you?
[6:30] Can you change your sexual arousal template?
[11:50] How can you help your partner understand that you want to do the work needed for therapy, but feeling overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities?
[18:40] Rob has seen a lot of hopeless people come into his office because they’ve tried everything to stop and don’t believe they can be ‘cured’.
[21:00] Check out Intherooms.com for more helpful info and resources.
[22:40] He has cheated since day one of the relationships and his spouse wants to stay married but is hurt beyond all belief. How can they overcome this?
[24:40] What’s the difference between Sex and Love Addiction vs. Sex Addicts Anonymous?
[27:35] How can addicts better handle disclosure with their partner?
RESOURCES:
QUOTES:
- “Men, in particular, what turns us on is visual imagery and novelty. Guess what, we really like porn because it’s visual and ever-changing.”
- “You’re using addiction to escape because we don’t have life tools.”
- “I wrote Out of the Doghouse because I never, ever in the 24 years of treating men with intimacy and sexual disorders, I never met a man who could heal the wounds of betrayal.”
- “Addiction is about using people. It’s not about seeing them as they are.”